Kathy Ostman-Magnusen's Website

"Flight" 24x48 oil on canvas

"I am Unique"

I am grateful today.
I feel this day with soft eyes.
I smile at everyone I see.
There are people who can barely walk.
There are people who cannot see at all.
For me
on this day the landscape goes on forever.

People in their cars
everyone seems to know where they are going
I lost track
but I am still writing lists.

I take my sketchbook everywhere I go
one never knows
I might catch a touch of blue
or green against the soil.

I see sprinkles of laughter
from creatures I invent inside my head.
High tea served at midnight
thank you very much.
How generous of the flowers to include me.

There are signs pointing out directions
this way and that.
This way will bring you home
or that way will take you further away
if you need to run.

Well meaning people often displaced.
I am yet grateful.
My appointments bring me hope.
I am not just another flower in the garden.

I hold out my hands
see that I am different from any other.
There are people who have decided
I am worth it.
So I think maybe
despite my own declarations
and objections
that creep in from time to time
I am grateful for this soul
that is my own.

I think of all the days that I stood still
lonely
all those days that I invited sad.
all those days of my not noticing my living
wishing I was not here at all
and thinking how long?

I am grateful now.
I have grown past only feeling regret.

While I know those feelings will return
from time to time
I know happy a little better
and it is saving me.

I am less harsh on myself now
not demanding answers
or positive outcomes only.
I am in touch more in the moment
and it is safe.
Creating within
and without
finding beauty in the simple
accepting each day as it comes.
Not holding anyone to their word
we all need room for excuses.
I allow for mine.
I guess I am focusing more on possibility.
It feels like a day I can finally breathe in.
I am grateful.

by Kathy Ostman-Magnusen